Thursday, June 17, 2010


So I have a...philosophical question to ask you all!

What does it mean to "Forgive yourself"?
I came across this when writing my book. My main character, Clara, feels responsible for the death of her parents and sister, when really, she wasn't involved at all. She's now on the road to recovery, but in order to fully recover, you need to forgive yourself. I heard that somewhere and I'm not really sure. Help?


Julia said...

Acceptance, perhaps? Or coming to terms with something. It seems that that is the definition you're looking for.

The Golden Eagle said...

I think "forgiving yourself" means that you don't beat yourself up about something.

For example, of Clara just sat there all day and night and didn't move and didn't do anything, then she'd be a pretty bad state, right? Well, if she (for example) got up and said "I know ___ died, and I know I had something to do with it, and I know that things might have come out differently, but what's past is past" then I think that would qualify as "forgiving yourself."

I think it has to do with acceptance of what happened in the past (as Julia said) and that it has to do with moving on from the event.

Marianne said...

forgiving yourself is not just saying "ok. I'm sorry self. Now I'm good." Forgiving yourself is, first of all, is realising it's done. What happened happened, and there's nothing you can do to change that. Clara must come to terms with the reality of the situation: They are dead, and she will never see them again. It's a hard reality to face, but one she's required to meet. But she will also have to look back and say, "I didn't do it." something, of course, must make her look back on that night (or whatever) and see she didn't kill them. Finally, (when it comes to loss) she needs to remember that her parents wouldn't want her living so sad and guilt-ridden. Only then will she be able to really forgive herself, because she refuses to feel so sad.
(check out "will to live" on forever the stars.)